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The Hairy Truth About Midlife that Women Hate

Barb Dehn | Speaker | Skin Bones CME
By: Barb Dehn, NP, FAANP, NCMP

Hair Where I Don’t Want it and Less where I do


There are lots of things that change as women reach midlife and beyond. Some are great, like increased confidence and not really caring what other people think.

Some, like sprouting new dark coarse hairs on your chin, upper lip and neck and not welcome!

Like puberty and the teen years in reverse, there are too many new changes in our bodies to keep track of. Many of these appear overnight, are completely out of our control and leave us scrambling to deal with them.

Is that a beard?

The fact is that during the menopause transition with a hormonal roller coaster many women start to lose the hair on their heads and around their pubic areas, which is probably age-related) and at the same time discover alarming new hair growth where we don’t want it! – Our upper lips, chins, and necks.

Please don’t mention the dark hairs you see; it’s embarrassing because unless I have my reading glasses on, or I’m using those super duper 15 times magnification mirrors with a light, I can’t see them. I’m kind of blissfully unaware until I happen to use a magnifying mirror, and then, I’m horrified!

Why this happens

Blame hormonal changes and increased androgenic, male-type hormones for the thick, coarse hairs that seem to sprout up every day. Plucking, waxing, and threading are good temporary measures, but the hair just keeps coming back!

If your hair is still dark, then permanent hair removal with a laser will still work. I waited too long and visited my electrolysis expert for months, ok 2 years (I’m of Italian descent) to help vanquish most of it. For all the rest, I see my new BFF, Nawzy, at Evoke Hair salon in Sunnyvale every 3 weeks for threading and eyebrow shaping. She is amazing!

BTW, I’m not proud of this, but in the interest of full transparency, I learned from my threading experiences, complete with me whimpering and crying from just having my eyebrows and upper lip threaded that I could never, ever be a spy.

Guess what? I have zero pain tolerance and would give away any and all state secrets just to avoid having my eyebrows and upper lip threaded.

Don’t get me started on bikini waxes!

See Barb Dehn, NP, FAANP, NCMP speak at a 2020 Skin, Bones, Hearts & Private Parts event in Virginia Beach • San Antonio • Orlando • Las Vegas